http://www.SpousalSupportShow.com
On this episode, we discuss the early days of when we first started dating, and how our relationship has evolved over the years after getting marring and having a baby. We share some integral marriage advice for new parents, as well as, the joys of cursing in front of our kid and the future of having more kids or maybe just more pets!
http://www.SpousalSupportShow.com
On this episode, we discuss the early days of when we first started dating, and how our relationship has evolved over the years after getting marring and having a baby. We share some integral marriage advice for new parents, as well as, the joys of cursing in front of our kid and the future of having more kids or maybe just more pets!
Get serious sued your screws. We're going to do a podcast now, so just have my nose touching it at all times. And then, I don't know, I'm close enough to have a is going to say that it's going to take about 10 episodes. Get used to talking to you with a microphone in my face. I mean, it's been, I've only talked to you without a microphone in my face for 20 minutes. Yeah. You're like, how I segue into that. That was good. Right up, right. Wanted to talk about how long we've been together here. This is episode two, the King and I. Oh. And we, we try to have like a little drink you drink every time. So today we're using a little Bailey's almond milk lick here because we're both terribly. Lactose is hard a lot. No, I'm allergic to dairy. Shake it, shake it, shake it. Oh, I did. I mean, I did before we even more time. Good. Okay. Yeah. Um, I'm actually allergic to dairy, so I still drink it occasionally. A lot. You don't want anymore. I don't want anymore. It wasn't a lie that was like wasted. All right. So, yeah. Okay. So Paul and I, so we tell the Tall Hi Paul. And I pop up Paul and I, the king and I ever seen that movie. I think it was, no, it wasn't Julie Andrews. I used to watch it when I was sick. I don't know. I watch six sick when I was six and I would get sick. My mom would let me watch the king and I am sound of music and I'd just sit on the couch all day. And I saw the king's speech. Totally. I am the least fascinated by the royal family. I think the world is fascinated by these people. But like that was an okay. That was a good movie. Uh, and then we tried watching that. Was it Netflix or prime? She plays Queen Elizabeth, the crown, the crown that's on Netflix, I think. Whatever it is. We got through two or three episodes and I was like,
Speaker 2:okay,
Speaker 1:I don't care about these people. Ah, he didn't, just the history of the country and stuff. I'm going to have to be honest, I don't, I don't really care that much either. So anyway, you were, you were talking to anyway, you call me the king and Paul and I, um, we met way, way, way while, while, while, while, while way back we were not get into at all. No, you don't want to talk about, well let's see. We were 18, 19 going on 19 or 19, going on 2019 going on 20. So it was in like[inaudible] 98 this was in 2014 cause we're very young. Um, no like maybe after Stevie was born. No, we uh, sorry. Starting over. Paul and I met when we were like 19 years old. Don't tell me, I know when we met, am I looking at the camera? What do you want from me? Oh my God. And we dated for a couple of years before we broke up. So sad broke up for like three years and then we got back together. I coerced her, got married, had a kid. It wasn't that quick. No weed. It wasn't that quick, but it was good. Yeah. I think there's more to tell, but he doesn't want to tell. Right. That doesn't matter. I think it matters how we met, doesn't matter, and like what happened when we were apart and all that, but we could spend three hours here talking about that. It's true. The point is, is that we were together. We liked each other a lot. We love each other. Yes. We compare to every other relationship too, but when we broke up, we didn't break up because we didn't like each other. No, we broke up because you needed to go away. Yeah. I got fired from my job. It was actually kind of funny. Huge. Dave Matthews. Yeah. Spans both of us. We've been DMB followers since the beginning of our relationship. Him a little longer than me. He got me into the band in a the year 2000 I don't think he does that anymore. No, I know. Old School. Anyway, in the year 2000 I won tickets on k rock to breakfast with Dave Matthews, which was basically a very small show in a very small club with like a hundred people and Dave Matthews and Kevin and beam. So to get out of work that morning. I told them I had a doctor's appointment, however, I did not. She didn't use her brain that day. I did not use my brain. I emailed from my work computer to make arrangements with Paul and a couple of days later they did an email inventory and found my emails about the breakfast with Dave. Found out that I was lying about having a doctor's appointment called me into the office. That's so basically you were lying and that's like, yes, I was. And then she broke down and then they have this job, so they me, I was like slept at my desk before. I never found creative ways to fall asleep at work. You guys. I really would. I would like hold a pencil in one hand and I could literally sleep resting on the other, but it looked like I was right. They never knew. What she doesn't know is that she snores pack. I didn't start back then. Now I do, but anyway, I got fired and so I looked for another job for a week or two, went to a couple interviews. I really have worked on it. You did. I did a temp agency and then I just couldn't find anything permanent. So I thought, you know what, I'm going to go like, rent is getting hard to come by. I'm going to go stay with my mom in Utah for just a few months just to get back on my feet and then I'll be back. And I ended up staying in these off for like three years. Six months. Yeah. So we broke up during that time, lived some other adventures without each other. And then when I wanted to move back to La Paul, Ken and told me like, hey, you know, enough is enough. Yeah. Quit playing games with my heart. Let's move in together. And I was like, Whoa, Whoa, whoa. We've barely even dated or seen each other in three years. We have seen each other off and on, but we weren't serious. And um, it was like, well, what's the worst that can happen? I was like, all right, let's move in together. And we did. And it was like perfect. I think as I think what convinced you, I said I'll take care of you. Well, big convincing points on my part and the rest is history. He would never leave me hanging and he's kept that word for the last, uh, I've given you, I was like 15 years ago that this happened and he's never let me down. Not yet. Listen, we don't have a huge house. I like it that way. Yeah, I do too. Yeah. We don't need a lot of, it would be nice. He just wants an office. Something that's bigger than a closet. Yeah. I'm like the smaller the better because then we have less stuff. And when I clean, I don't want to injure myself. I just don't want to have to come out to the garage to record a podcast to work on my computer. Yeah, no, it's totally understandable. I don't love you coming out to the garage either cause you feel really far away and it's cold out here and it's really cold at night. It brings a little space heater core thing. So yeah. So that's the, that's the story. The early story. Yeah. And that's how it all began. We got married five and then five. Six we got engaged in five. Yeah. Whatever. It doesn't matter at this point. It doesn't matter. And then, um, um, and then we got married and sex and then we had a kid in 10. Yeah. Oh God. And then everything changed. Everything changed. And now we hate each other. Right?
Speaker 3:No, we hate each other so much that we want to stay here and talk to each other with microphones.
Speaker 1:No, I think, uh, I think after we had a kid you really kind of start taking on your roles, you know what I mean? But I think, I don't know how you feel. I think I changed more than you did. Hmm. How well? A couple of ways. Some were negative as in I guess I was always anxious. Huh? I feel like I'm more anxious, like less fun, loving, more serious. But then the other part of me is like, but I also started drinking alcohol and drinking coffee and just like trying to cope with me in a parent. So I don't know. Right. Because you didn't, you didn't really drink prior to you getting knocked up? No. Well I didn't drink while I was knocked up either. No, but I can drink after Stevie came along. The day you got knocked up, you hadn't had a drink? I think I had. So you started dabbling? Yeah, in that time. That's true. So it wasn't Stevie that made you start enjoying adult beverages? It was mostly CV though. I have to be honest. Right, because back then it was more just like, well I think I was sad too that we couldn't get pregnant I guess a really long time to get pregnant and it would be like babies on parade every time we were walking around Burbank and then so I'd have a drink just to, you know, and now when we see babies we, I want more dogs.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:No more babies smell more babies for a while. Listen, we'll wait until your eggs dry up and then we'll
Speaker 3:try.
Speaker 1:Oh, we might have more. I don't think it became very clear until more recently because there was a long time where I thought I wanted another one and
Speaker 4:I wasn't using it.
Speaker 1:Birth control or anything. I know, God forbid
Speaker 3:just fine about this
Speaker 1:and kept thinking, you know, if it happens to happen, no. And then we got to a point maybe two years ago where I was like, dude, we cannot have another kid. Like we need to start using protection. Right. This is too hard. Like I can't go back it. Sure. That's what she said. Um, I kissed a little too hard. Yeah, let's wait until it softens up and then we'll try it again. I just couldn't imagine going back to newborn, sleepless nights when we had a six year old who still want it to look. And it's weird that I'm more open to it. Yeah. Obviously. And it's not that I don't do anything. What do you mean? Meaning like, obviously I can't have the baby and do all that stuff, but in terms of are the baby, I can't, yeah, that stuff is hard and I can't be, I can't do it. Um, but I do get up a lot at night. He does as a really good dad to pat myself on the back for that one. I do get up in that and so we're all, he always has to. We're always getting up. We're still, we haven't slept in eight years. No. So might as well add one more since we're already waking up. We can add another one. At least a dog, but oh, another cad. One more dog. Well, we're really lucky with the dog we have now because he, knock on wood, he's only got enough in the middle of the night a couple times to go pee in the last month. And that's it. He's not a, he's not a midnight pooper. No, no, no. Really early morning or like the rest of us. Yeah, he brings, could be like a song or a band name. Yeah. That could be the name of this pot. Midnight poopers morning. Shit takers. Yeah, yeah. No, but he shuts four times in the morning. Minimum. It's minimum deposits. As for deposits, you have a mosquito or something. It's not every time. Not everything is a machine. Not, everything's a Skeeto. Ooh, there it is. That's one. A mosquito. Oh, it a that, well, California had a mosquito infestation this last year and they didn't go away for a really long time. We were covered in mosquito bites. Yeah. But yeah, look, it's not a deal breaker. Obviously I'm still with you. The mosquitoes, babies, babies and a second dog. Right. I think the second dog is more of a deal breaker for me. Then like if we do not get a second dog, you're like out totally out. Shared custody. Listen, I have to train the dog. She does not have to train the dogs to the dog to dog. Went away to be trained, but then when he gets home, who has to keep it up? Both of us did. You're at work for like 12 hours a day. 10, nine, 10 hours a day. Nine hours a day. Well, I'm just saying that's a lot, but yeah, now that's TVs at school for like five hours. They don't have a great excused. I mean really like my one is one dog is already a problem. He's not, he sleeps while Stevie's at snow, but it's like, oh, if we're, if we're going to be gone all day or it's a long day or we're going to go on vacation, we have to board him or leave him at grandma's or leaving him outside and let him tear up the backyard. His philosophy.
Speaker 3:So what's another one?
Speaker 1:I mean, as long as they get along, I guess it's not that big of a deal. No issue. We fostered another pit bull a year after we got Fergus. She Hade at Fergus, like she let him have it and so we couldn't keep them together. The trainer was like, no, no, no,
Speaker 3:this is not, I think she, I think she genuinely genuinely liked him and liked to play with him, but she was kind of rough. She was just a rough and tumbler and he's
Speaker 1:not, yeah, she bit his neck. She like made him bleed. She wasn't nice and he didn't like that. He's a real sensitive, sensitive soul.
Speaker 3:So, I mean, yes, yesterday you know the story you were there. Tell everyone, but I want to tell the friends, he's literally easier to behave then an eight year old child. He is. I was like, he doesn't like water. So if he's outside in the, in a rain storm or something, he freaks out and he tries to break into the house. Um, uh, he doesn't necessarily like baths, but I called him over. I called him into the bathroom. I told them, I said, get in the bathtub and with his ears back, he has the pointiest pointed ears, ears, huge ears. And they instantly go right behind his head. He was so sad and he just didn't want to go in it. And, and then he did. He took one foot at a time. He pushed himself into the bathtub and he just sat there and he was so upset and so sad about it. And he took the bath like a fricking champ. He didn't complain. He didn't whine. He didn't bark, bark, nothing. He bathed, he took a bath. He has a real sweet pub. Yeah, he's, his name is,
Speaker 1:that's our purpose. And I love, Paul is a little obsessed with him. Like whenever the dog sleeps at Grandma's because we're going to be gone all day. Paul was just like devastated. Like, who am I going to snuggle with tonight? I'm like,
Speaker 3:oh, that's true. Hi, I'm here. Yeah. But she gets up a lot. Not a great sleeper, but that's, that's what's so nice about, you know, having been together for 20 years. Like we don't share a blanket. We don't. Um, I mean if we could, the bed would be made, you know, it would be a split, but it was just too expensive and I still liked her enough that I didn't want to invest the extra 2000 bucks in a split Kit. But we know that when we wake up in the morning that we still like each other a little bit.
Speaker 1:Say That's true. There was a time in the early years of Stevie that we made a rule integral.
Speaker 3:This is like for any new parents out there, this is a, this is a life rule to live by
Speaker 1:Missouri city. Yeah. So middle of the night, the baby's crying. I can't get the damn snaps on the one z closed dark. I mean we were just like at our wit's end and we're screaming at each other. He's like, yeah,
Speaker 3:what's wrong? Get the thing,
Speaker 1:you know there's like two o'clock in the morning. This is like date to, no, this was like a week later. Whenever they day three being home, my God. And so we're just like losing our minds. And then the next morning, did I say it to you? I was just like, babe, anything said between midnight and 5:00 AM just doesn't count towards the marriage at all.
Speaker 3:I think I said Fuck No. He agreed and she's like, it's not two o'clock in the morning. You can't talk to him the whole way out. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Cause it's just, I think that like survival mode is just, you've got to cut each other some slack.
Speaker 3:Yeah. But also number one, there is such a thing called velcro. Yeah. Yeah. So I want to know which monster decided that they would put tiny, tiny, tiny little snap buttons. Like maybe what, eight, nine, 10 of them around the crotch to down to the leg.
Speaker 1:Yeah. This was a winter one V so that it wasn't three buttons. It was like 10 buttons.
Speaker 3:And so part of it is you don't want to turn the light on because you don't want to wake up, you wanna you wanna you don't want the light to wake you up and you don't want the light to bother the kid and freak the kid out and bother your partner. You're trying to like discretely changing a diaper. And so, um, you know, you want to make it as easy as possible and some monster who works for target or whatever company makes this thing go ones the one on one, they all have snaps on it and it's like, but you could use like any other material or securing device like Velcro we invented, developed by NASA. They put men on the moon using Velcro, tempurpedic, pajamas, tempurpedic. It doesn't make sense. But, right. I mean like anything, a paper clip would have been better. So I don't know. Maybe we should invent that. I think we should. Yeah, yeah. Good call. Well, that's it though. That's our time. I Dunno. I look, if I could imagine that one, I would, but I have no use for it anymore. Oh yeah. We're far past the onesy stage. I mean, do you miss the ones you stage? I am. I miss the baby that fits in the onesy now. It's like such a different world. Yeah, totally different animal. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's so opinionated. He has an opinion. He's got an attitude problem. Although when he was a baby, he cried a lot. He got an attitude then too. But he's still very cute. He's a cute kid. And now he just says shit that you're like, that's really funny. Good for you. He said the f word today. No, he didn't know. Okay. So some, I'm taking them to grandma's house and I'm not proud of. This crowd is so funny. You're excited driving to grandma's house. It's only a mile away. It's one straight shot to grandma's house. One Mile. And which is how we have time to record this podcast, by the way, grandma and his aunt or, or the the best. Okay. So we're driving, we're halfway there and some woman is crossing the street. So I stop. It's not a crosswalk, it's another light. I stopped. She's, she's Jay walking across the street. I stopped, she comes across and a car is waiting, blocking the intersection on the other side and she gets into this, it must be an Uber because Uber drivers are notorious for not coming to you where you, where you are. They want to make it as dangerous as possible. Yeah, it's true. So she's crossing the street and gets into the car and I'm looking behind me and I see all these cars stopping very quickly because they don't want to kill her. And um, I said you effing dummy or something mother f something and then it's TV. I didn't say it out loud and I figured he didn't hear me cause it just say the actual word though. I did. You said, I said effing idiot. Did you actually say you fucking idiot? Stupid motherfucker. That's what I said. I forgot it was back there for like two seconds. I forgot CV was going to be, he was quiet the whole, for the first minute of the drive, he was quiet. That doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. So he's quiet and I, and I totally forgot. So I said, you fucking idiot, motherfucker, you're going to kill yourself. And uh, he goes, what did you say? I love you son. And that's what I said. He said, you said you said fuck no, I did it. And he goes, yeah you did. I said, no. I said, Schmucker parenting said Paul's notorious for swearing while he drives, he gets it from his father who also had a filthy while he was driving.
Speaker 1:Um, but there was one time where he's just cussing up a storm because people are stupid and this and that. And I said, hey, but like, watch your mouth, can you please just like take it down a notch. There's no reason to get so bent out of shape and like cursing so much. And uh, so the next car that did something stupid, I could see him like really struggling to find his words and he was just like this. It just starts making up visits. So that has become a state, well in my vocabulary, but I'll hold the butthole bitch. It's the equivalent of a fucking idiot. Yeah. Her mother ever mother up but mean. Yeah, he's so, he just started making stuff up in that like killed me to hear him use in words. It was so creative. You're welcome. Well done. So he was also saying bad ass a lot today cause I that that's on youtube too. There's a guy who's awesome, bad ass cars and he was like, this one's definitely a bad ass car. That's when he told me. But I have also been encouraging him. It's hard when you have a child like Mike, Stevie, um, all the little things. Yeah. All the little milestones and you know, achievements need to be celebrated, including using curse words in context, including using curse words. It contacts or pronouncing the f word properly. Sure. Um, I, I don't encourage it. Obviously I don't want to encourage it. However, when he does something cool or that puts his shoes on or the other day he started using my computer and typing on the keyboard, which he's never done before. Um, I told him like, that's bad ass. You're bad ass. Yeah. And you know, bad ass, bad ass. He just went through another heart procedure about us. Bad Ass, bad ass. And if he ends up using the words, oh, teens abusing or, yeah, because teachers will be like, Oh, don't say that, but whatever. Whatever. That's nice to see it when he's older. Anyway, the Nice thing is I think there's a lot of slack given to kids with special needs. Yeah. So he can get away with it for a little bit. Yeah, that's true. Well, let him, and it's also cute when he says it. It's really cute. It's like this was definitely bad ass. Yeah. Or he'll look at the car and this car has a lot of Nice t tail. It's bad. It's bad ass. Oh, again. Well then remember that there was a time where Paul said something about, what am I supposed to call you, Paul? You there was, yeah. There was this one time that you said something. I feel like I'm talking to other people though to then talk to the marina. Hi, Paul here. Said he was in the car and he was like, that's a Badass car that drove by and Stevie goes, don't say that word. Bad Ass. It's a good ass.
Speaker 3:Hey guys, thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. I hope you enjoyed it. Make sure you like press the like button, right. Smash the like button, subscribe and stuff. The kids, all this luck. If you liked it, if you liked it, you know what to do. You know what to do like it and tell your friends and stuff and of course, visit our website at spousal support podcast. Doug.
Speaker 5:Cool.